What The FBI Doesn't Train You For
by MadMoniMouse
Summary: Set after IWTB. A series of one-shots in adjusting to parenthood after finding out Mulder is a legal guardian of two distant relatives with the assistance of Scully.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: X-Files belong to 1013 Production**

Chapter One: First Night

Two girls, ages two and an infant were sound asleep in the car while on the drive home. Their guardian, a distant relative was now responsible for raising these two on his own. On the drive home, he thought to himself, "What have I've gotten into now? The F.B.I. did not prepare me for this." Soon the family of three made it home. Not wanting to disturb the little ones, Mulder carefully picked up the three year-old, Gwynn in one arm, and the other, Ingrid, in his other. "Hush, my little ones. We're almost there," whispered Mulder. Mulder made it into the house without waking the girls. In the spare bedroom that Mulder prepared for the two girls on his own, he tucked Ingrid into the crib and Gwynn into the bed. "This will do for now. I don't have much. Come tomorrow, our journey begins," thinking to himself. Mulder left a small light on, not knowing if the girls would need it to scare their imaginary monsters away.

He headed to his room and began to get ready for bed. Reflecting what had happened this last twenty-four hours, Mulder still struggled to understand why he was made legal guardian over children of a cousin he had not seen since childhood. Looking at the time, he decided to try to get some sleep before the sun rises. Just as Mulder was sound asleep, he heard crying coming from the spare room. With a quick jump, Mulder raced to the girls' room to see what the fuss was. Both Gwynn and Ingrid had woken up and had no clue where they were. Mulder took Ingrid out of her crib and sat next to Gwynn on her bed and began to sing a lullaby. Somehow the lullaby was able to put Gwynn to sleep, but not Ingrid. Mulder rocked the tiny infant in hopes she would go back to sleep. It did the trick and Mulder headed back to bed hoping that the two girls could sleep through the remainder of the night.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Princesses at a Tea Party

RING. RING. RING. The phone rocked on the end table. Mulder leaped for it from the kitchen while trying to dodge a sleeping toddler and her teddy bear laying in the middle of the floor. "Yes, who is it?" asked Mulder. "Mulder, it's me," replied Scully, "how are the girls treating you since I left for work this morning?" Mulder looked around the living room to check on Gwynn. Ingrid was in her crib, taking a nap. "Well, Scully, Gwynn's trying to be a helper around the house, or at least in the kitchen. She tried to help me make macaroni and cheese by covering herself with cheese. Fortunately, she's passed out on the floor." "Oh dear. Do you need me to pick up anything before I come home?" Mulder, thought for a moment, and replied "I don't think so, as of yet." Crying could be heard from the other room. "Hey, Scully, I got to go." "Alright, see you all tonight."

Mulder returned the phone and dashed to the girls' room to check to see what the fuss was. Ingrid had woken from her nap and was in tears. "Hush, little one. I'm here. What is it do you need?" Mulder checked Ingrid to see if she needed a diaper change and was relieved that was not the case. "Is someone hungry? Let's have a snack! But we need to be very quiet. Gwynn is sound asleep," whispered Mulder. Carrying Ingrid in his arms, Mulder tiptoed into the living room to check in on Gwynn and then went to the kitchen to feed Ingrid. Ingrid had started to calm down. "That's a good girl. Let's put you in your chair and see what we should eat!" Mulder placed Ingrid in her high chair and started to look through the cabinets to find something that was suitable for Ingrid to eat. "Aha! There's nothing wrong with peaches!" Mulder grabbed the jar and began to feed Ingrid. "Here comes the train! Choo-choo!" Ingrid giggled and opened her mouth wide to take a bite. "That's a good girl. Here comes another!" Again, Ingrid opened her mouth and took another bite. "I think that's enough for now. Let's head over to living room and check on your sister." Ingrid just giggled. Mulder picked up Ingrid and made their way to the living room, when Gwynn woke up. "Plway with me!" "I will. Let Ingrid and I sit down." Mulder successfully was able to sit on the floor with an infant in his arm and a toddler at his feet. "Alright, kiddo. What is it that you want to play?" Gwynn thought for a little bit. "Princesses and tea parties!" cried out the toddler, "we all have to dress as princesses!" Mulder took a large gulp and thought to himself, "A former F.B.I. now turned into a princess? Please, don't make me dress up." As if Gwynn read his mind, she added that they all had to dress up. Gwynn ran off to the girls' room to grab all things princess related.

She returned with success. "Ingrid can wear this!" Handing Mulder a pink dress. "And you can wear this!" Handing him a tiara and a tutu. "Um, honey. I don't think I can wear a tutu. It looks like it won't fit me." Gwynn gave Mulder a puppy eye look and Mulder gave in. Gwynn was busy getting the tea party ready while Mulder dressed Ingrid in a pink dress that was too big for her and wore the tutu around his neck with the tiara on his head. "Its weady," called out the toddler. Mulder looked over and saw that Gwynn's teddy bear was to make an appearance as well. "This is Princess Snuggles!" the toddler pointed to the bear. "We have Princess Ingrid and you are Princess Fyona Joy Plaincassy!" Mulder shook his head. "Wait till Scully sees this. She will never look at me the same again," as he thought to himself. "Now it's time for the woyal princesses to have tea!" And thus the party began. Gwynn served each princess tea. "Why thank you Princess Gwynn." "Your welcome, Princess Fyona Joy Plaincassy!" The group continued to play tea party and lost track of time.

Scully came home and stopped in her tracks. Ingrid was wearing a pink dress, Gwynn had a feather boa on, and Mulder looked ridiculous with a tutu around his neck and a tiara on his head. "Mulder, what on earth?" Mulder was about to respond when Gwynn chimed in with "His name is Princess Fyona Joy Plaincassy!" Mulder's face showed desperation and all Scully could do was laugh. "Alright, princesses let's get cleaned up for dinner," Scully said as she picked up Ingrid. "Okay!" Gwynn grabbed her teddy bear and head to her room. Scully looked over to Mulder who was struggling to get the tutu off from his neck. "Come on Princess Fyona Joy Plaincassy. Let's get dinner started."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

"Now, behave you two or Santa won't come and deliver your presents," stated a motherly red head. "We will!" smiled Gwynn while Ingrid just giggled. Scully took the girls to visit her mother to spend the holiday weekend. Mulder left a little bit early to pick up a few things for the visit and would meet them there. Arriving at their destination, Mrs. Scully came out the house and greeted the family. "Mom, could you help with Gwynn while I get Ingrid?" "Sure thing. Gwynn, want to help me decorate the tree?" asked Mrs. Scully. "Yes!" cried Gwynn. The two headed inside with Scully and Ingrid not far behind. Once inside, Scully placed Ingrid in a laundry basket to keep her from getting into the ornaments and joined in on the tree decorating.

In the midst of decorating a tree, a loud knock could be heard from outside. "Ho, ho, ho. Is there any home?" "Mom, could you watch the girls?" Mrs. Scully nodded. Scully went to the door and opened. "Why Santa, aren't you a little bit early?" "It's better to be early, than be late. Ho, ho, ho," responded Mulder in disguised, "By the way, are the girls excited?" Scully took a glance back to the living room and nodded yes. "They sure are Santa. Let's get you in." "Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!" called Mulder.

The girls looked at each other in disbelief. Was it what they were hearing? "Ho, ho, ho! I come bearing gifts!" Mulder sat down by the fireplace. Gwynn raced towards Mulder and hopped in his lap. "Now what do you want for Christmas?" asked Mulder. Gwynn thought for a moment, looked up at Mulder, not knowing that it was him dressed as Santa, and said "a doll!" "Well, my dear, let me open my sack and see if there's a present with your name on it!" Mulder peered into the bag and grabbed a box with Gwynn's name on it. "Why, look here! This has your name on it! Merry Christmas!" Gwynn took the gift and hopped off Mulder's lap. "Gwynn, what do you say?" asked Scully. "Thank you!" replied the toddler. The toddler sat down on the floor and began opening her present. With a shriek of delight, Gwynn grabbed her doll and showed Mrs. Scully her new doll. Scully picked up Ingrid and carried her over to Mulder. "Now, what does Miss Ingrid want for Christmas?" asked Mulder. Ingrid just looked at Mulder and began to babble. "Hmm… I have the perfect gift for you!" exclaimed Mulder. Mulder opened his sack and pulled out a gift with Ingrid's name on it. "Well, look here! This is for you Ingrid!" Ingrid just looked at him and continued to babble. Scully thanked Mulder and helped Ingrid unwrap her gift. Ingrid continued to babble and began to drool on the teddy bear that was just unwrapped.

"Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! I have to get going as there are other children that I must visit." "Bye Santa," responded the toddler. "Thank you, Santa," Scully whispered into Mulder's ear, "You did a good job." Mulder gave Scully his infamous boy smile and responded "I have a little surprise for you, but we wait till everyone's asleep." Scully escorted Mulder to the door and watch him disappear to change out of his costume before rejoining everyone.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: Locked Out

"I will be right back Gwynn. I'm going to grab the mail and we can continue to play." "Okay," responded the toddler. Ingrid was sound asleep and Mulder wasn't too worried about leaving Gwynn alone for only thirty seconds. Mulder headed out the door and to the mailbox to collect the day's mail. What Mulder didn't realize was that Gwynn was by the door and turned the lock. "Looks like there isn't much for mail today. Just bills and junk," Mulder mentioned to himself. He made his way back to the front door and tried to open the door. "This can't be happening. Please let this be a figment of imagination."

Mulder tried the door again. Locked. Peering into a nearby window, Gwynn was nowhere to be found. "GWYNN!" cried out Mulder. No response. Mulder went around the house to see if there was an open window or an unlocked door. To his dismay, there were not. Pondering on what to do, Mulder decided to just wait and hope. Back to the front porch, Mulder, also without a phone, sat there and waited for Scully to come home. What Mulder didn't know was that Scully was trying to call him and was unsuccessful as Gwynn took the phone off the hook.

After what seemed to be forever, Scully drove in and found Mulder on the front porch. "Mulder, what are you doing out here? Why are you not inside with the girls?" questioned Scully. Mulder just looked at her and explained what happened. Scully shook her head and realized why Mulder didn't answer the house phone or his cell phone. "Come on, Mulder. Let's get inside and check in on the girls." "Lead the way." Scully unlocked the door and found the toddler sound asleep in the living room. "Well, Mulder. You avoided a crisis. However, I think we need to make sure we have a spare key if this happens again." Mulder nodded his head in agreement.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five: Unwanted Art Project

"Mulder, I'm going to run a few errands and please keep an eye on the girls. I really don't want to come home and see the place destroyed as we have company visiting later tonight." "Scully, you have little faith in me," retorted Mulder. Scully just looked at Mulder and shook her head. Gwynn and Ingrid had just started taking their naps and Scully wasn't anticipating to be gone too long. "Oh, Mulder, one more thing. Don't get locked out again." "Scully, that was happened only once. It won't happen again." "If you say so." Scully proceed to head out the door and begin running errands. As soon as Scully left, Mulder headed to the living room and grabbed a book to read. Shortly after starting to read, Mulder had fallen asleep.

Gwynn woke up from her nap and walked into the living room to see where everyone was. Finding Mulder asleep, she headed to a corner that all her art supplies and began to color in her coloring book. Deciding to use a large space to color, Gwynn looked at the wall and grinned. She knew not to color on the wall, but she just couldn't fight the temptation. Gwynn began to color on the wall with the various crayons from her box. Mulder was still napping, unaware of the mess Gwynn was making. After finishing her masterpiece, she smiled and realized that she needed to hide it from Mulder and Scully.

Digging through the art supplies, Gwynn found white paper to cover the wall and headed over to Mulder's desk in the opposite corner to grab the tape. Using the tape and white paper, Gwynn noticed that the white paper didn't exactly matched the white wall and decided to wake up Mulder. Gwynn began to poke Mulder and was not having any luck so she decided to climb on him and poke again to see that would work. Mulder felt pressure on his chest and woke up to see a toddler staring him in the face. "Gwynn, what are you doing?" "I had an accident." "What kind of accident?" Gwynn pointed to the wall covered in paper. Mulder looked at the wall, then at her. "I'm sworry." "It's okay Gwynn, let's see if we can clean this up or both of us will get into trouble. "Okay."

Gwynn went to the wall to take the paper off while Mulder grabbed a sponge and bucket with water and soap. As Mulder began to scrub the wall, he noticed that Gwynn was occupied playing with the suds than helping with cleaning. "Gwynn, why don't you go check to see if Ingrid is still asleep?" "Okay!" Just as Gwynn left the room, a car pulled into the driveway. Mulder, quietly praying that Scully wouldn't kill him for not watching the girls. Scully came into the house and saw Mulder with a bucket and sponge. "Mulder, what happened?" "Well, Gwynn decided to have a little art project." "And where were you?" "On the couch, reading a book, which lead to an unintentional nap." "I told you to watch the girls while I was gone." "I didn't mean to fall asleep. Gwynn told me what happened and apologized. She wanted to help, but was just playing with the suds. I sent her to go check on Ingrid." Scully sighed and shook her head. "Come on Mulder, let's get this clean up." Just as Scully mentioned, a car entered the driveway and a person hopped out of the car. The two didn't notice that there was another car in the driveway and were attempting to clean the wall when the doorbell rang.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six: Hide and Sleep

"Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! Weady or not!" Gwynn insisted that she and Mulder should play hide and seek while Scully was away and Ingrid napping. Mulder went along with it knowing that finding places to hide would be a challenge, but never the less he was willing to. "Where are you?" Mulder stayed silent as he was hiding behind a door as he didn't want it to be too hard for the toddler, but not too easy as well. Gwynn made her way through the hallway and ran to the living room. She climbed onto the couch and didn't find Mulder. Gwynn She got down and began to look around. Utterly confused to where Mulder could be, she began to look around and noticed that something was not right. She ran towards a door that seemingly had a foot sticking out. With a shriek, she cried out, "I found you!" Mulder smiled and picked her up. "Yes, you did. Good job!" "Again, again!" "Alright, but it's my turn to find you." Mulder put the squirming toddler down and began to count.

Gwynn ran off and found the perfect hiding spot. She quickly hid and waited to be found. "Ten. Ready or not, here I come," called out Mulder. Thinking where the tyke could be hiding, Mulder checked the usual hiding spots in the living room and didn't find her. "Hmm, maybe she has a new place," as he thought to himself. Mulder checked the kitchen and had no luck. He began to look into other rooms in the house and was perplexed. "Where could she have gone," thought Mulder. Mulder continued searching for the next ten minutes and could not find the little girl. "Great, I lost Gwynn and Scully is going to be home any moment. If I don't find Gwynn, I will be in the doghouse for sure this time," talking to himself. Mulder continued to search high and low, mainly low, of all the possible nook and crannies. Thinking that he was stumped and turned over ever hiding spot, Mulder realized there was one place left he didn't check.

Heading to the girls' room, Mulder quietly tiptoed as he didn't want to wake Ingrid up. Once in their room, Mulder looked under Gwynn's bed and was confused. She wasn't in there. Mulder checked her bed and had no luck. Stumped, Mulder left the room and headed to the master bedroom. As he entered, he found the missing toddler sound asleep underneath the covers. Mulder chuckled to himself, "I guess we decided to play hide and go sleep." Not wanting to wake up Gwynn, Mulder left the toddler alone and crawled on the bed and held her tight. "I've found you," he whispered into her ear. Gwynn didn't stir and was still asleep. "You know what? I think I like this version of this game. Now would be a good time to take a nap," Mulder thought to himself. Shortly, Mulder too was asleep.

"Mulder, girls. I'm home," called out Scully. Not getting a response, Scully checked to see where everyone was. Ingrid was still in her crib, but Gwynn and Mulder were still missing. Scully entered the master bedroom and found her two missing troublemakers sound asleep on the bed. Not wanting to disturb the two, Scully left the room and began making dinner.

 **A/N: I apologize for not updating this story or any other of my WIPs. Trying to complete a senior thesis and planning a wedding has taken priority. Now that my thesis is almost done, I should be able to get back to updating on a more consistent basis. Thank you for following along!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven: Wishing You Were Here

"Mulder?" What is it Scully?" Mulder and Scully just tucked the two girls into bed for the night after a long and exhausting day from spending the day at Margaret Scully's house. "Do you ever think of our family?" "Do you mean our current family or a family we once had?" "What we once had. I miss him, Fox. Our family that we had for a brief time. I wish he were here, with us. He would be nine now, off to school, getting into mischief, exploring his environment, causing trouble while we are busy taking care of the girls." "Scully, that was not the life we could provide for him. Even if we could, there was no way we could guarantee that he would be safe. I miss him too. I dream of us going to the park and teaching him how to swing a bat. One day, we will find him. Right now, we have two small girls that we are now responsible for taking care. Maybe this current situation is for us to right our wrongs for giving up William, to redeem us and our missed opportunity to be parents." Scully looked at Mulder and shook her head. "Fox, I want to believe that is true, but I can't. He deserves to be part of our family. The fact, we gave him up, and we now have a family. I can't even fathom what our lives would be now with William." "Dana, I miss him too. Do you think that you're the only one facing this? We dwell on the choice that we made nine years ago to protect our son."

Mulder pulled Scully in for a hug and embraced her. Scully buried herself into Mulder's shoulder trying to prevent the tears that were trying to escape. Mulder whispered into her ear saying, "It's going to be okay Scully." "How do you know?" "I just do." The two continued to embrace each other. "Scully, we are given the opportunity to raise a family. Even though we don't have him, we have each other and the girls. That alone is what we have." "Thank you." "Come on Scully. It's getting late, and you have to be at work in the morning. You need your rest just as I need mine if I want to be able to keep up with Gwynn." Mulder led Scully to their room and got ready for bed. "Mulder?" "Yes?" "Thank you." "You're welcome," replied Mulder with his caring smile.

 **A/N: I got thinking the other day about how Mulder and Scully would cope with giving up William in this work. This chapter ideally, was to capture that emotion, but that was not the case. I guess I shouldn't be writing in the middle of the night. Alas, I digress. As always, feedback is highly appreciative!  
**

 **P.S. I am looking for ideas as my list is starting to dwindle. If you have an idea or two, feel free to message me!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight: One Shoe, Two Shoe, Red Shoe, Missing Shoe

"You don't trust me, Scully. Just admit it." "No, it's not that," responded Scully on the other end of the phone. "Then what is it then?" "I trust you, I just don't trust Gwynn. Particularly Gwynn as she tends to push your buttons." "Relax, I can handle Gwynn, she behaves like any toddler. It can't be that hard to go grocery shopping with the girls." "If you say so," retorted Scully with a stern look. "Don't worry about us! You stay home and relax. You deserve it!" Finishing their phone conversation, Mulder placed Ingrid in the child seat of the shopping cart and put Gwynn in the cart. "Now, let's find what we need to get it for dinner."

Mulder and the girls made their way through the aisles to collect what was on the list. Upon stopping in the bread aisle, Gwynn wanted out and to help pick out the bread. Mulder didn't think there would be any issues and picked her up from the shopping cart. While the two were busying picking out bread, Ingrid decided to start taking her shoes off, or at least one shoe. "Does this look like a good bread, Gwynn?" "Yep!" "Good, I'll go put it in the cart. Do you want back in the cart?" "No." "Then I need you to hold on to the cart so I don't lose you." "Okay."

Just as Mulder and the girls made their way to the next aisle, a woman came up to Mulder. "Excuse me, sir? I believe this is yours," as the woman was giving Mulder a shoe. "Thanks." Mulder looked at Ingrid and realized that she was now missing another shoe. "How did you do this?" Mulder asked her. Ingrid just looked at him and giggled. "I found it!" called out Gwynn pointing to a shelf. "Thank you. I don't know how or why your sister managed to do this." Mulder reached for the shoe and decided not to attempt to put the shoe back on Ingrid's foot. "Alright, Gwynn time to put you back in the cart and we can head out." "Okay," responded the toddler. Mulder picked up Gwynn and placed her back in the cart. The trio made their way to the cashier to pay and head out. This time, Mulder decided to take Ingrid's other shoe off her foot so she wouldn't take it off herself.

The trio made their way to the car and began to load everything in. Once Mulder got in the car, he smiled to himself on how he successfully went grocery shopping. He drove home and was greeted by a somewhat drowsy Scully. "Mulder, how was shopping with the girls?" "Good!" "Did you get everything?" "Yes, Scully." Scully smiled and began to get the girls. Noticing that Ingrid was in stocking feet, Scully asked,"Mulder, where are her shoes?" "Well, that's a funny thing," and Mulder told her the ordeal. "And where are her shoes now?" "Right here!" Mulder checked where he thought he had placed Ingrid's shoes and couldn't find them. "Scully, I'll be right back. I must have left them behind!" Scully shook her head while holding the girls.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine: Not So Silent Night

Scully tucked in Gwynn and tip toed out of the girls' bedroom. Mulder closed the quietly. For once, in what seemed like a long time ago before adopting Gwynn and Ingrid, Mulder and Scully finally had the night to themselves. "Both girls are asleep and the night is still young. What should we do G-woman?" asked Mulder. Scully thought to herself and smiled. "Well Mulder, let's unwind first, then go from there." Mulder gave Scully his infamous boyish grin. The two went to the kitchen. Scully grabbed two wine glasses while Mulder grabbed the bottle of wine that was tucked away. Mulder poured the wine into the glasses and returned the bottle. The two toasted and were about to take a sip before they heard Ingrid crying. Scully let out a sigh. "You stay put Scully, I'll go take care of Ingrid. You need your rest."

Mulder entered the girls' bedroom and picked up the crying infant. With Ingrid in his arms Mulder began to rock her back to sleep and placed her back in the crib. Mulder sneaked out of the room and closed the door quietly before returning to the kitchen. "Now where were we?" asked Mulder. "I think right about here," Scully replied before kissing Mulder on the lips. "Agent Scully, are you coming on to me?" "Shut up, Mulder." Scully responded jokingly. The two finished their glasses and continued to kiss in the kitchen. Mulder was about to pick up Scully and carry her to their room when a toddler came out of nowhere and asked, "Whatcha doing?" Mulder and Scully looked at each other before back at Gwynn. Trying to come up with a quick response, Mulder responded, "Well, the two us were finishing the dishes." Gwynn just stared at the two agents. Scully asked, "Sweetie, why are you out of bed?" "I'm thirsty." "I'll go get you a glass of water." Scully grabbed a glass and filled it with water and gave it to the toddler. "Here you go sweetie, let's get you back to bed." "Okay."

Scully walked the toddler back to her bedroom while Mulder finished washing both the wine glasses and the glass that Gwynn drank out of. Gwynn was tucked back into bed and Scully returned to Mulder. "Now where were we, G-man?" "Right about here, G-woman." Mulder picked up Scully and carried her back to their bedroom. Scully fought to keep the giggles in as she did not want to wake the girls up and did not want to have to tuck them back into bed again. Mulder entered their bedroom and laid Scully on their bed. The two began to cuddle and kiss into the night, but were interrupted once again from a crying Ingrid.

"You stay put Scully, I'll take care of her." "Thank you, Mulder." Mulder entered the girls' bedroom and picked up Ingrid while trying to figure out why she was crying. "That's why," Mulder said to himself, "You need a diaper change. Let's get that taken care of." Mulder quickly and quietly changed Ingrid's diaper and had her back asleep in no time. Once Ingrid was back in her crib, Mulder returned to the master bedroom and found Scully sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, Mulder went to bed and snuggled next to Scully. The two continued to sleep through the night without a disturbance, or so they thought.

The next morning, Mulder woke up and rolled over to gaze at Scully. To his surprise, Gwynn was in bed with them. Scully woke up and noticed Gwynn as well. "Mulder, how long has Gwynn been here?" "I have no idea, she must have crawled in during the night." "So much for having the night to ourselves." "Relax, Scully this was bound to happen. Let me take our tyke back to her room." "No, Mulder, leave her here." Mulder flashed a sleepy smile to Scully and she returned a smile. The two laid in bed happily with Gwynn in the middle.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten: The Three Little Pigs

Scully was gone for the night and it was up to Mulder to watch the girls and tuck them into bed. Mulder had already tucked Ingrid into bed and was about to do the same with Gwynn. "Read me a story?" asked the toddler. Mulder smiled and asked her which one. The toddler responded, "The Three Little Pigs!" "Okay! Let me get you into bed first, then I will tell you a story." Gwynn climbed into bed and Mulder grabbed the book from the bookshelf. Thinking to himself that there needs to be a different telling of this classic tale, he had an idea.

"Once upon a time, there were three little pigs. One pig wore glasses and had no hair. The second pig was tall and had brown hair. The third little pig was small and had red hair. The three little pigs were busy working for a mean old wolf who blew smoke. Each of the pigs did not like the mean wolf and decided to run away. That wolf was not happy that the three pigs ran away and chased after them. The tall pig who had brown hair ran into the field and built his house of straw, hoping that it would keep himself safe. The mean old wolf knocked on the door and asked 'little pig, little pig, will you please let me in?' 'No, you may not!' 'I will huff and puff and blow your house down!' And with that, the mean old wolf blew down the house made of straw. The pig ran out of the house and ran to the forest where the pig who wore glasses was hiding in a house made of sticks. Both pigs thought they were safe until the mean old wolf came to the door and knocked. 'Little pig, little pig, will you please let me in?' 'No, you may not!' 'I will huff and puff and blow your house down!' With a big huff of smoke, the mean old wolf blew the house down. Both pigs were safe and ran to the redhead pig who built her house out of bricks. 'Quick, in here! You should be safe!' called out the redhead pig. But, the mean old wolf tracked the pigs and came to the house made of bricks. 'Little pig, little pig, will you let me in?' 'No, you may not!' 'Then I will huff and puff and blow your house down!' The wolf tried to blow the house down. He tried again and again, till he began to wheeze. The three little pigs laughed at the wolf. The wolf tried again and wheezed so hard, that he couldn't breathe. So the wolf decided to go home and vowed to return one day for the three pigs. The three pigs celebrated and continued to live happily ever after. The end."

Gwynn was sound asleep and Mulder chuckled to himself. "I'm impressed Mulder, you used us, Skinner and Cancer Man to be characters in a fairy tale," stated Scully. Shocked, Mulder responded, "Why yes, Scully. Do you know how many times have I told this story? I had to change this story for my sanity." "It is a cute story, Mulder. I guess, I am the smart pig?" "Yep, you are the smart one in the bunch!" Scully gave Mulder a kiss on the cheek and grabbed his hand. Mulder smiled and followed Scully out of the room.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven: Ring Ring

"Mulder, are you sure the girls will be fine?" "Yes, Scully. Your mother was more than eager to spend time with the girls. Plus, this is the first time in a long time that we have a night alone." Scully smiled, "Alright Mulder, then what is the plan then?" "A night out on the town. I have dinner reservations at your favorite restaurant and my lips are sealed," answered Mulder with his infamous grin. The duo got ready and Scully's phone began to ring. Scully answered the phone. "Yes, mom. Thank you for telling me. Tell the girls to be good. Love you too!" "What was that about Scully?" "Mom had a question about the girls." "Oh, okay. We better get going if we want to get to dinner on time." Mulder was already dressed in a suit and bowtie and left their room to go get the car. Scully was frantically getting ready and decided to wear a red dress she had kept hidden from Mulder.

She was almost ready when Mulder called out, "Are you ready?" "Almost!" Scully came out of their room in a classy red dress and a necklace that Mulder once had gotten her many years ago. "How do I look?" Mulder stunned at how beautiful his partner was, replied "Stunning!" The two got in the car and drove to the restaurant. They got there just in time for their reservation and took their seats. Looking at the menu, Mulder ordered a bottle of wine for the two of them to enjoy. Already knowing what to order, the two order their meals and began to enjoy the moment. "Mulder, you never cease to amaze me." "What can I say? I do my best." Scully smiled to which Mulder returned as well. Their dinner arrived and about to eat when Scully's phone went off. "Excuse me, Mulder. Let me check this." Scully quickly left the table and went to lobby to answer her phone. "She did what? Yes, mom. Thank you for letting me know. Love you too! Bye." Scully hung up and returned her phone to her purse. Returning to the table, Mulder asked her what the phone conversation was about. "Mom was informing me that Gwynn managed to get into a flower pot and decided to take a bath in the dirt." "Oh dear. Is everything alright?" "Yes."

The two returned to enjoying their meal and date night continued on. Mulder waved for the check and paid. "Ready for the next part of our date, Scully?" "Yes, where to?" "That is a surprised!" Scully smiled and tried to think what Mulder had in store for them. Mulder took Scully by the hand and led her out of the restaurant. "Follow me, Miss Scully." The two walked down the street to the nearby park. "Mulder, where are we?" "Doesn't matter. Hush." Mulder and Scully walked in silence to as they walked to the park. Once in the park, the two continued to walk down the path. "Scully, I-" RRIIINNGG. Scully quickly answered her phone. "Yes, Mom. Are they behaving? Good. Love you too! Bye." "Scully, what was that about this time?" "Mom was curious about bedtime routines." "Oh." "Don't worry about it. What were you about to say?" "Scully, I love you." Mulder kissed Scully on the lips. "Mulder, I love you too." "Shall we head home and continue our night alone?" "Yes." The two left the park and returned to their car and proceeded to head home.

Once back at the house, Mulder picked up Scully and carried her into the house. Mulder carried her to their room and laid her on the bed. Just about to go in for a kiss, Scully's phone went off again. Mulder reached for Scully's phone. "Mulder what are you doing?" Mulder grabbed Scully's phone and put it on silence. "There, no more answering the phone." "But-" "No more," and with that, Mulder tossed Scully's phone off to the side. "Now Scully, where were we?" "I think about right out about here," as Scully leaned in for a kiss. RRIINNGG! Interrupted again. "Mulder, isn't that your phone?" "Yes." "Shouldn't you answer it?" "Hello, Fox Mulder, who is this?" asked Mulder as he answered the phone. "They what? Alright, we will be over soon. Don't need to apologize! We understand. Thank you for everything." Mulder hung up. "Mulder, what was that about?" "Gwynn is crying uncontrollably as we forgot to pack her teddy bear." "Well, we better hurry there before Mom and we don't face the wrath of a toddler."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve: Not So Peachy

"Well, partner, it looks like it is going to be the two of us today," Mulder told Ingrid. Ingrid looked at Mulder and just babbled. Scully took Gwynn with her and were doing errands leaving Mulder to watch Ingrid. Ingrid had just got up from a nap and was crying as she was hungry. Mulder placed Ingrid in her high chair and began looking through the cupboards for Ingrid. "Hmm," Mulder thought to himself. He reached for a jar of halves of peaches and opened it. "Ingrid, I hope you are hungry for some peaches!" Ingrid just responded with her usual babble. Mulder poured a few halves into a bowl, grabbed a spoon, and placed the bowl in front of Ingrid. "Here comes the first bite!" Ingrid open her mouth and took a bite. She gave Mulder a look of disgust and protested her distaste. Ingrid took the bowl and flipped it over her head, causing the remainder of the peaches to spill all over her, high chair, and with some landing on the floor. Mulder looked at Ingrid, then at the mess she made, and back at Ingrid. "Well, I guess peaches aren't in your future. Is this how you are going to express yourself when eating food you don't like?" Ingrid just laughed. "Let's go get you cleaned up before your sister and Scully come home to the mess that you made." Ingrid kept giggling. Mulder was about to start to clean the mess when Scully came home with Gwynn in her arms. "Mulder, what did you do?" "Our infant here protested out disgust of the taste of peaches. This is the result." Scully shook her head and put Gwynn down to help Mulder clean up the mess. "Mulder-" "Scully, before you say anything, I think this might be the start of Ingrid conspiring to eliminate peaches on this planet and getting the Government involved." Scully gave Mulder a quizzical look and finished her sentence that was interrupted with "just peachy."

 **A/N: Sorry for not updating in like a ridiculous long time as life happened. Life would involve college graduation, work, getting married, other personal things, and lack of motivation to get back into writing Fanfiction. Anyhow, this is almost done! Thank you for reading along!**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen: Goldilocks and The Three Bears

Another night meant another story for Gwynn and Ingrid. Scully was finishing the last of the dishes and it was time for the girls to go to bed. As usual, Gwynn wanted to be read to and requested her favorite bedtime story. Deciding to not read The Three Little Pigs for the umpteenth time, Mulder began to tell the girls a classic tale with Mulder's twist. This time, it would include a few old friends.

"Once upon a time, there was an adventurous redheaded girl who kept her hair in pigtails, named Goldilocks, who was going to visit a friend who lived on the opposite side of the woods from her. She decided to go visit him as she was tired of staying at home and dealing with her siblings. Goldilocks headed out to visit her friend and tried to remember the way there as it had been quite some time. As she made way through the woods, Goldilocks came across of a cabin. She knocked on the door and no one answered, but she noticed that the door was opened. Goldilocks entered the cabin and saw there were three bowls of porridge. The first bowl was too hot as Goldilocks needed a glass of water to cool her mouth. The second bowl was very cold and tried to take some of the porridge from the first bowl into the second bowl to warm it up, but it was still frigid cold. Now the third bowl, it was the right temperature, not too hot or too cold. Goldilocks ate all the porridge in this bowl.

Starting to explore the cabin, Goldilocks saw that there were three computers. Finding it odd that whoever lived here owned more than one computer, Goldilocks began to investigate the first computer. It had a big screen, was really bulky, and many buttons to push. Goldilocks found it to be too much of a challenge trying to figure out how to work the computer. The second computer was a little bit smaller, but it didn't have any buttons to turn it on. She was confused about this computer as it was nothing like the previous one and decided not to try to use it. Now, the third computer was not as big and confusing as the first computer, yet was different from the second computer. Seeing that it was easy to use and that Goldilocks wasn't afraid to use it, she began to use it or at least to see what was on the computer. Goldilocks saw there were a lot of files about things that didn't exist and thought that whoever lived here was quite odd.

Feeling a little bit tired, she decided to take a nap before leaving the cabin. She went upstairs and saw three beds. Goldilocks tried the first bed and found it to be too hard. She went to the second bed and found it too soft. Having hopes that the third bed would be perfect, Goldilocks tried the last bed and found it not too hard or too soft. Goldilocks began to take her nap. She was sound asleep for quite some time until she heard a noise. The bears were back! She attempted to hide underneath the bed she was napping on as she didn't want to get caught.

The first bear wore glasses and a leather jacket, he looked quite angry compared to the other bears. The second bear had long blonde hair and wore glasses, as well as was the tallest out of the three. The third bear wore a suit and tie. Each of the bears noticed that someone ate their porridge and were unhappy. They looked over at their computers and noticed that someone messed with the third bear's computer and freaked out as all the files were left open. All three realized that someone or something was in their cabin. The bears rushed upstairs and saw that their beds were a mess. 'Where is that thief?' asked the bear with the leather jacket. 'Who would go through our computers?' asked the bear with the long hair. 'Will you two be quiet? I think whoever did this is still here,' replied the bear with the tie. Goldilocks stayed underneath the bed and stayed quiet. She hoped to get out soon and regretted coming into the cabin. The three bears split up and started to look throughout the cabin. There wasn't a bear in the room. Goldilocks saw it as an opportunity. She got out from underneath the bed and snuck down the stairs.

Just as she made it to the last step, there was a loud creak. It came from her! The bears heard the noise and made their way to the source. Goldilocks ran out the door and didn't look back. 'There's the culprit!' 'Get her!' "Don't scare her!' Goldilocks made it out the cabin and continued to run for her life. She continued to run through the woods and made it to her friend's house. Her friend came out and greeted her, but was curious why Goldilocks was running. She ran to him and told him everything that happened. 'Calm down Goldi, the bears you saw are my friends,' said her friend, 'They are quite odd to say the least. They are harmless! How about I walk you home today after our visit?' Goldilocks nodded yes. She enjoyed her visit with her friend and he walked her home. Once home, Goldilocks thanked her friend for walking her home and he went on his merry way. The end."

Both girls were asleep for quite some time, but Mulder wanted to finish his tale of the three bears. Smiling to himself, he heard Scully asking, "And why would I be afraid of the Lone Gunmen?" "How did you know tonight's tale was about you and the gunmen?" Scully stared at Mulder and shook her head. "Come on Mulder, it's time for us to get to bed."

 **Hey faithful followers! I am always looking for suggestions. Feel free to pm an idea or two!**


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